Sunday, December 20, 2009

Pouring Water on the Burning Times



"Teresa's Burning Times", About.com: Paganism/Wicca.

Modern-day witches (Wiccans and assorted pagans) who tie themselves to the "witches" largely persecuted in Europe between the 15th and 17th century cite the infamous Malleus Maleficarum as largely responsible for this carnage, an era they refer to as "The Burning Times".

Here's an extract from "An Introduction to The Burning Times", explaining the book's supposed influence during this time:
The single most influential piece of propaganda in this campaign was commissioned by Pope Innocent VIII in 1484 after he declared Witchcraft to be a heresy. He instructed the Dominican monks Heinrich Kraemer and Jacob Sprenger to publish a manual for witch-hunters. Two years later the work appeared with the title Malleus Malificarum, or The Witches' Hammer. The manual was used for the next 250 years in the Church's attempt to purify the Christian faith.
But, as it also points out: "One of the most sobering things about the Burning Times is that most of the slain were not Pagans, they were devout Christians falsely accused."

The estimation of deaths caused during this time is quite high:
During the Burning Times, an estimated nine million people (some of whom were undoubtedly Witches, but the majority were innocents that composed the Midwives (whose role was being sought by the newer male dominated medical profession of the Doctors), the elderly and infirm, those that nowadays would be considered Eccentric (the old woman living alone in the woods), the victims of land greed (the accusers were usually able to gain hold of the alleged Witches property once s/he had been convicted) amongst others!) were killed by their Christian brothers, sisters, spouses and neighbours. Even today you cannot publicly announce the fact that you are a Witch without fear of severe and often brutal repercussions, depending on where you live in the world.
But just how much of an impact did the Malleus have on witch persecutions?

According to Jenny Gibbons' review of the book, not as much as you'd think:
The Malleus Maleficarum is indeed one of the most influential Witch-hunting manuals of all times. And since it's easily available in modern English translation, it's still influential, the darling of amateur historians today. But it's not a reliable guide to the Burning Times: it's a duplicitous text with a checkered past, a book you simply can't take at face value.
This leads to the very question of the intensity of the "Burning Times" itself. Patti Wigington asks "Were the Burning Times as Bad as They Sound?" a subject also covered by Religious Tolerance with "The Burning Times: The Extermination of Witches and Other Heretics".

Some articles are much more blunt, like Wicca: For the Rest of Us' "The Burning Times or the More Persecuted than Thou Syndrome":
Not only is the myth of the Burning Times false, it's disrespectful to the real victims of the witch-persecutions who were, at first, heretics and then were generally Christians unfortunate enough to be swept up in a hysteria that swept half a continent. None of the victims were Wiccan - the religion did not exist at the time. Few, if any, had any knowledge of pagan religion. Worse, Wiccans have taken up such slogans as "Never forget, never again" (originally used by Jews in reference to the Holocaust) and spout hugely exaggerated numbers in an attempt to win the Most Persecuted Group in History Award.
Jason Pitzl-Waters' "Is Ross Douthat Living in Dan Brown’s America?" also points out that in
the last twenty years, as the number was successfully reevaluated, modern Paganism has mostly dropped that meme, and those who don’t are often criticiszed within the modern Pagan community. Even Charlotte Allen, who wrote the critical piece from 2001 that Douthat links to, admits that Wiccans and Pagans have mostly moved on from "The Burning Times".

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Wow! Free Laptops!

I can't fuckin' stand chain mail.

It really does amaze me how gullible people can be. I mean, all it takes is a few simple keystrokes in Google to determine the veracity of the information forwarded, but it seems people are too lazy to bother.

I'm gonna talk about the latest version I've received ("FW: Laptop offer", Saturday, 12 December 2009 6:59:21 PM), which came with this picture attached:



Rather cheekily, the e-mail has some random commentator say
Ericsson T18 & R320 laptop promotion
I DID check Snopes - it IS legit ... They're trying to match a recent deal by Nokia!
No, they aren't.

In fact, if you actually did bother to check Snopes, you'd find their "Sony Ericsson Laptop Giveaway" page (last updated 19 October 2009).

Their verdict on this free laptop claim?



As the page reveals, various incarnations of this garbage have been doing the rounds for years. 

Well, ok, so even if it's not true, it's just a bit of harmless fun, right?

Wrong.

As richmonjames writes in "Email Security: The Dangers of Chain Emailing":
The truth be said, chain emails can actually be a significant source of danger, placing your system in jeopardy to hazardous spam and assorted infections. Certain aspects of chain emailing create capacity for uninvited users to permeate our emailing systems, making them unsafe to receive.
Oh, and as Consumer Fraud Reporting's "Email Chain Letter Hoaxes" mentions:
Finally, do not forward unverified chain letters, no matter how compelling they might seem. Propagating chain letters is specifically prohibited by the terms of service of most Internet service providers and you could lose your account.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Sex Line and a Costly Laugh

Two interesting items caught my eye in the Monday December 7, 2009 edition of the mX (Melbourne). The first was titled "What the?":
Florida Governor Charlie Crist mistakenly directed parents of uninsured children to phone a sex line. People phoning Crist's office heard a recording of him promoting the toll-free Florida KidCare line. Except two numbers were transposed. Callers to that number were told to call another number. The recording on that second number begins: "Hey there, sexy guys." (7)
The second was "See You in Court, Pal":
A Scottish man involved in a long-running feud with neighbours could face court for breaching an anti-social behaviour order by laughing.
Stuart Hunt, 46, was charged with laughing at the teenage daughter of the couple he has had a dispute with for six years.
Hunt insists that all he did was smile, shake his head and laugh.
The order, granted in 2007, prevents him from laughing at people, staring at anyone or slowly clapping his hands at the actions of others.
He is also banned from waving objects at people and adopting a menacing stance (10).

Tiger Woods Needs to Keep His Clubs in Their Bag

Each day, more and more revelations are made about Tiger Woods' extramarital love life.

Despite the obvious scumbaggery of his acts, there's absolutely no need for this disgusting, racially-motivated cheapshot from a well-known conservative:
Meanwhile, American right-wing shock jock Rush Limbaugh has caused more controversy by tying Woods' alleged affairs to President Barack Obama and "the black frame of mind" as a whole.

"The black frame of mind is terrible, they're depressed, they're down — Obama's not doing anything for them," he said.

"And I'm sure Tiger Woods’s choice of females not helping them out with their attitudes there either."
Obviously, Limbaugh is desperate for ratings.

Anyway, onto his comments regarding Woods.

Despite appearances, Woods is not simply "black", i.e. African-American in this context. As Wikipedia reveals, he is "one-quarter Chinese, one-quarter Thai, one-quarter African American, one-eighth Native American, and one-eighth Dutch."

He refers to himself as "'Cablinasian' (a syllabic abbreviation he coined from Caucasian, Black, (America) Indian, and Asian)".

So not only does Limbaugh show his ignorance with Woods' ethnic background, he manages to insult African-Americans in one fell swoop. All for a dig at a Democrat president, who, incidentally, comes from a mixed background himself: Obama's father was Kenyan and his mother was an "American of predominantly English descent".

Monday, December 7, 2009

When Old Is New

I actually like Wolfmother. Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller clearly does not.

His review for their latest album, Cosmic Egg (2009), is a blistering attack on the essence of their retroness. In this context, it's hard to escape the points he makes in his deconstructionist stance. Like, say, this:
Before settling for Wolfmother, pick up not only everything by Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple, but also Blue Cheer, Pentagram, and really any fucking album from the '70s, including disco's entire discography and Debby Boone's You Light Up My Life. Then familiarize yourself with Australia's history of big, dumb crocodile-bludgeoning riffs. Then listen to modern stoner-rock groups, which sound sort of like Wolfmother except they actually include heaviness. After completing any of these tasks, you'll start to view Wolfmother with a combination of disgust, pity and regret, like a cosmopolitan adult woman recalling awkward grope sessions with her gross high-school boyfriend.
And this:
Making "new classic rock" is like manufacturing fresh Atari cartridges. Classic-rock radio isn't accepting new submissions from the dad-rock groups that are still recording, let alone from some newly minted simulacra that remains stubbornly uninformed by decades of musical innovation. Satisfying your classic-rock cravings by listening to Wolfmother is like addressing your hunger by chewing on a picture of a steak.
I can buy the criticism that retro-rock is essentially re-heated leftovers from the rock stylings of yore. Obviously, there's some kind of artistic and cultural yearning for such things. Even if this nostalgia occurs to people who weren't contemporaneously connected to the things they pine for.

But let's keep in mind that modern artists recycling the past is nothing new. The rockers of the '60s and '70s also went through a phase of exploring their rock "roots" by regressing to blues music. Most of them could hardly claim to being directly responsible for the creation and development of a genre "created within the African-American communities in the Deep South of the United States".

Also, most artists, at some point or other, are highly reliant on covers.

Some take it up a notch: the aforementioned Led Zeppelin actually faced legal troubles with claims that they plagiarised riffs and such from other artists. The Beach Boys were sued by Chuck Berry for pinching the tune from his "Sweet Little Sixteen" for their "Surfin' USA". George Harrison had to hand over the royalties derived from "My Sweet Lord" after it was declared to be a little too similar to The Chiffons' "He's So Fine".

Like I said, nothing new.


Cannibalising and regurgitating one's artistic influences is all part of the creative process. in the lead to developing one's own "voice" or style. This concept even has sociological parallels.

In this age of movie remakes, retro fashion and recycling, the zeitgeist appears to be nostalgia. We are living in a generation yet to find its own "voice". I mean, can you really cite the noughties as particularly remarkable from an artistic perspective?

Wolfmother are a manifestation of this borderline creative bankruptcy.


That said, they at least write their own songs, even if their style is hardly ground-breaking. I'm sure if their success continues, their style will continue evolving into something new and exciting. Give 'em time.


That said, there's nothing really wrong with enjoying retro-inspired music. It's one taste among many. Genres are built on this very concept. I mean, what aligns us to them but the familiarity we find in their tropes? How else could we even make such distinctions in the first place? 

I find that the only real problem occurs when the artistic medium it's found in contains nothing but this kind of stuff. That's when they tend to die. Afterall, there's a reason why the Western movie practically died out.

When this happens, the tropes are simply reborn as influences. And so, the cycle continues.

As Miller points out, "Classic-rock radio isn't accepting new submission from the dad-rock groups", so how does one combat such things? Simple: re-jig the format. That's where bands like Wolfmother, Oasis, Jet, Airbourne, The Darkness and so on, come to fill the "void".

There's obviously something they're bringing into the mix. Maybe their music is faster.  Louder. Maybe people can sense a more contemporary element or influence in their music, somehow making it more relate-able

Fuck knows.


Point is, once people get sick of such recycling, they'll soon turn to something new. Thus, a band needs to constantly "update" its sound unless it wants to stick with a core group of fans that'll diminish over time, anyway.


So, I welcome Miller's criticism, but I think it needs to be more far-reaching and considerate of a broader artistic, sociological perspective. And shit, maybe people just like this neo-retro stuff for its own sake!




That's because there'll always be a place for retro. It's embedded deep within the human psyche. People will always mine the past for inspiration, yearn for the good old days and sometimes try and replicate it, too.

Should Be Left with Nothing But a Stub

The men featured on a 2006 list of "Living Sex Legends" are über-sluts. The ultimate Players.

The focus of the article is on Charlie Sheen (5000), with mention given to his proclivity for prostitutes, but poignantly adds, "Hey, if you have to pay them to sleep with you, doesn't that invalidate your total number of conquests?"

It's no surprise that Jack Nicholson (2000) and Gene Simmons (4600) made the list, too. But wait till you see who made number 1. I bet you wouldn't have seen that coming. 

Oh, and Wilt Chamberlain's stat just seems impossible.

The question is though, how the hell did they validate these monumental claims?

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Be Careful What You Wish For

Ah, the trials and tribulations of young love. All those hormones raging. The burning intensity of emotion. The melodrama. The heartbreak. Sometimes it's so strong, you wish you would die.

Just be careful who you mention those sentiments to.

A 15 year old student from Glenorchy was tried with attempted murder after taking his mate's ex's lamentations a little too literally:
Crown prosecutor Daryl Coates said the boy arranged to meet the girl at the Bridgewater waste water treatment plant about 3pm.

They walked into nearby bushland to an isolated area near the River Derwent where they started talking.The court heard the girl was upset that her ex-boyfriend, who was also the boy's best friend, did not want to get back together with her.

She said she could not continue if the relationship was over and she wished she were dead. The boy asked if anyone would miss her if she was dead.

The girl replied: "No one would care .... I wish someone would just kill me", according to a transcript of the boy's interview with police.

The boy took a hatchet out of his backpack and struck the girl to the back of her head, knocking her down.She screamed and begged the boy to stop.

"The thought that ran through my head was she asked me to do it," the boy told police."I started and I couldn't leave it half done."

Facebook Friends List Types

If you're a long-time Facebook user, you've probably noticed certain friend "types" on your list.

You're certainly not alone.

Brandon Griggs composed an anthropological list of "The 12 Most Annoying Types of Facebookers". He reduces them to the following categories:
  • The Let-Me-Tell-You-Every-Detail-of-My-Day Bore
  • The Self-Promoter
  • The Friend-Padder
  • The Town Crier
  • The TMIer
  • The Bad Grammarian
  • The Sympathy-Baiter
  • The Lurker
  • The Crank
  • The Paparazzo
  • The Obscurist
  • The Chronic Inviter
Which one best describes your friends? Or, more importantly, which one best describes you?  

Harry Pothead and the Chamber of Spliffs

Regarding the previous entry, I should point out that the usual denials have been issued on Radcliffe's alleged drug use:
A spokeswoman for Daniel Radcliffe says he "categorically denies" the Mirror's allegation that he smoked marijuana.

"Daniel does smoke the occasional roll-up cigarette, but he was not doing anything more than this," the spokeswoman said.

"We are considering our position and will be taking all necessary action in relation to such allegations."
See what happens with that. Not much, I'd imagine.

When Parodies Become Real

Sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction. Or, it mirrors fiction in some bizarre way.

The success of J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter series saw the inevitable parodies roll in, like Michael Gerber's Barry Trotter and the Shameless Parody, Valerie Frankel's Henry Potty and the Pet Rock: An Unauthorized Harry Potter Parody and, of course, various appearances of Harry Pothead.



"Funny Marijuana Pics", MrBuds.com.

The last one is more of a meme than an actual book; it was famous enough to make an appearance in Scary Movie 2 (2001). Its closest real-life equivalent is Dana Larsen's Hairy Pothead and the Marijuana Stone (2007).

Until now.

Daniel Radcliffe, star of the Harry Potter flicks, was recently busted smoking a spliff at a party in Camden, North London:
Giggling Daniel Radcliffe gets off his face on dope - as a friend scrawls a comedy moustache on him.

The party-loving Harry Potter idol, a spliff between his fingers, could barely stop chuckling as the girl daubed his face at the house bash.

Fellow reveller Wadia Tazi, 26, said: "Daniel was laughing and seemed to find it funny. But he didn't really look like he knew what was going on."

The screen idol, 20, earlier lit up the joint in front of guests and repeatedly took deep drags. He also walked around the flat blurting out: "I love weed."
The title of Clemmie Moodie's article? "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's STONED."

And thus, we come full circle.

Ooh...Competition!

Was I deluded in thinking my blog of randomness would be the only one?

Apart from one I've covered previously, I've just stumbled upon Christa's Blog o'Randomness.

It certainly has a decent amount of entries (53 at current count) and was started way back in 2006.

Its author is Christa Joy, a librarian from Lincoln, Nebraska. She has this to say about herself: "Randomness...librarian, gamer, bibliophile, floriculturist, ferret & cat minion." Hmm.

However, she has been neglecting her blog: its latest entry was on February 3rd.

That puts me in the lead, baby!

After all, this blog has 62 entries (including this one) and counting! Hell yeah!

I'll admit her blog entries tend to be longer though. But she also pads them out with video clips and pics of very large resolution. Meh.

The more I delve, the more randomness blogs I see. By typing randomness blog into Google, I get a massive stack of results. Here's a snippet:



 I'll cover others I come across at a later time. When I can be bothered.

But remember folks, there's only one Great Blog of Randomness! Mwhoohahahaha!

Yes, I mean mine. Ahem.

Friday, December 4, 2009

A Gaggle of Guidos

Ah, Guidos.

I'm sure you've come across some form of this orange, blowout-coiffed pestilence on the 'net (or New Jersey) at some point.

If not, here's an introduction:



"Best of 2007", Guido Fist Pump.

Your one-stop online encyclopedia, Wikipedia, defines "Guido" as
a slang term for a younger lower class or working class urban Italian-American. The Guido stereotype is often portrayed as humorously thuggish with an overtly macho attitude and an unyielding pride in his Italian ancestry.
However, another, more reliable source claims they are actually
the native species of Italian douchebag endemic to the Jersey shore.

However, their distribution and range extends from Florida to New York, especially in cities with a GNC. They display the outward appearance of an oven roasted over-inflated Miami clubfag due to orange spray tan and glow in the dark teeth.
Fortunately, there's an online enclosure for this species. It's called Guido Fist Pump. You can scroll through the pics and marvel at them in all their oompa loompa glory.

Now, in case you were wondering; yes, there is a female of the species:

 

"Jersey Girls", Guido Fist Pump.

Being Alec Baldwin

Take a peek inside Alec Baldwin's troubled, humble, borderline psychotic mindspace, byway of Ian Parker's compelling profile, "Why Me?", for The New Yorker.

Here's a snippet:
He recalled a day, a few years ago, when he was driving through L.A., saw a car run a red light, smash into another car, and keep moving. Baldwin gave chase and, eventually, blocked the culprit in a cul-de-sac. Before the police arrived, the driver got out of his car—“Typical drug-addict, alcoholic, fuckhead look on his face. He was, ‘O.K., what? What? You’re chasing me. What?’ This nineteen-year-old kid, his eyes blazing. I’m thinking, I’m going to come over there and knock your teeth down your fucking throat just because you’re asking me ‘What?’ You know what, you little fuck? I saw you. I’m a pretty liberal person, but my liberalness comes from what the government should be doing with its excess of wealth. That doesn’t mean I’m not a law-and-order person. I’m the kind of person—you catch the kid who’s drunk and high and he almost killed a girl, let’s take him in and beat the shit out of him for a couple of hours. Then he’ll learn.” He laughed. “I believe that!”

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Ultimate Medley!

On the surface, The Axis of Awesome are a cheap Aussie knock-off of Tenacious D.

However, I dig their song "4 Chords". It operates under the presumption that there's a basic 4 chord structure behind successful songs in the last 20 or so years.




The result is something like the ultimate medley: the studio version incorporates lines from 35 songs.

It's available on their debut album, Scissors, Paper, Rock! (2009).