All Aboard the Sex Ramp Express!

What do you do if you're morbidly obese and find it difficult to, uh, consumate your love?

Bring on the sex ramp!

Mexico's Manuel Uribe married his wife Claudia Solis two weeks ago after being whisked to the ceremony in a flatbed truck

He managed to slim down to 300kg from his peak weight of 570kg but was still unable to have sex on his wedding night — until friends built him a metre-long ramp made from reinforced concrete, Britain's Daily Star newspaper reports. 

The ramp allowed the 37-year-old to raise the lower part of his body so his bride could access his genitals.

 How's that for romantic?

Amityville Follies

I gave some coverage to the Amityville Horror a little while ago, and today, I came across an interesting 2005 article concerning one of its participants.

Christopher Quaratino was one of the children who lived in the infamous house, and claims that the events depicted were "exaggerated to the point of  fiction".

Interestingly, he also asserts that mysterious happenings did take place:

But he insists his stepfather at the time, George Lutz, brought the troubles on himself by dabbling in the occult and then amplified what paranormal incidents did occur to profit off books and movies about the house. "He's a professional showman, in my opinion," Quarantino said of Lutz, whom he said he clashed with many times before leaving home at 16. "I just feel as though we're being exploited."

George Lutz could not be contacted, as he's been dead since 2006.

Kroeger's Follies

Here's something for the Nickleback knockers.

Lead singer Chad Kroeger is apparently capable of a rather nasty partytrick. 

But I don't think you'd want him to demonstrate it.

Let's just say it gives "Something in Your Mouth" a whole new context. Yeah, I think that kinda gives it away.

Like a Breath of Hot Air

Well, it was bound to come to this eventually.

Farts.

Snicker if you will, but Brenna Lorenz's "Facts on Farts" almost makes them sound distinguished.

She answers various queries on flatulence like "What makes farts stink?", "Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts?" and "How does a fart travel to the anus?"

She handles them all with a matter-of-factness which is almost endearing. Check out her response to B_read's "Why is there a 13 to 20 second delay between farting and the time it starts to smell?":

Actually, the fart stinks immediately upon emergence, but it takes several seconds for the odor to travel to the farter's nostrils. If farts could travel at the speed of sound, we would smell them almost instantly, at the same time we hear them.

Like I said, she's a pro!

Ocean Reclaims the World

In "Modern-Day Babylon" and "Before the Bubble Burst", I gave some coverage to the opulence of Dubai's resorts for the rich.

There's a bit of an Ozymandian parallel going on. You see, one of its famous attractions, "The World", is slowing sinking into the ocean.

How the mighty have fallen, indeed.